anticipating graduand

i may say i’m bored a lot more frequently than i used to…

but in fact, life has never been as fulfilling as it is now.

my only wish, only want, only need, is for it to continue in the direction it’s going in now.
then my life will be perfect.

career choice?

i was thinking today.

i really really really want to be a designer of some sort. i want a job that would allow me to use my graphic design “skills” in a practical way…but i’m not exactly sure WHAT type of designer i want to be.

but the thing is…throughout, well, my whole high school life (which is SIX WHOLE YEARS) i’ve been travelling towards a future to do with commerce…so obviously i’ve been heading in the direction of bachelor of commerce or something like that…

and it wasn’t until recently did i realise that i actually want to take my hobby of designing further. i want to be able to make a living out of it…and show my designs to the world. i want everyone to see and love my designs…

ooookay maybe im thinking TOO far ahead. lol.

but even with all those hopes and dreams…there are still so many doubts in the back of my mind. obviously getting a degree in commerce would give me a much more stable job…they don’t have to like your work to pay you, you just have to know your shit and follow the rules….you know (yes julie, i know u-know =P)? and what if i do end up studying design…do i have what it takes to make a profession out of it? what if i become a total screw up and no one likes my work and i become a hobo. all these insecurities are…in a way…forcing me to choose commerce over design. but the more i “design” stuff or just randomly doodle or play around with paintshop pro or whatever…the more i want to become a “designer”.

sometimes i wish i could be more optimistic….and less insecure ><“